Have you ever woke up to recognize the presence of heaviness? Even before you’ve started your day or had time to think about anything, it’s already operating. Today was one of those days. One of the first things I like to do in those situations is a self-check. I examine myself to see if there is any place where I have come into agreement with, or yielded to that spirit. Isaiah 61 tells us that it is an evil spirit: “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to…appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.”
To a person who has never experienced depression, it would probably be easy to say, “Why don’t you just get over it?” But to the one suffering from it, things don’t look that easy.
During the years that I struggled with depression, I felt like my heart was bleeding. As much as my husband and friends tried to help, they eventually had to tend to other things, leaving me feeling abandoned in my pain. If I were to paint a picture of what that felt like, it was like I had been in a horrible car accident and was bleeding profusely. My friends and family would come and go, but no one was able to extricate me from the car and get me into an ICU. What others could not see is that I had been in an accident of sorts, but it wasn’t physical. It was emotional and spiritual. It sounded like such a comfort to me to die and go to heaven where the pain would be over. Continue reading